All he could see clearly was her dark brown eyes. As he strum his guitar with his eyes close, desperately trying to remember. His husky voice can make any sad song sound so sexy but it still wouldn't change a thing.
He was craving for her existence. Whoever she was, he wanted to remember so he had written all his songs with the thought of her.
"stay with me
just this one time smile for me
smile like nothing was broken
and just this one last time
I'd like to believe..."
Rain started to pour down and nothing feels more nostalgic. For a moment, he stared outside and chuckled at a thought. It's funny how a little rain could emphasize such colours of the world. Hyun's phone suddenly vibrates. He picked up the phone to see who it was and at the same time hopelessly wishing it's not Producer Lee or anyone from work.
"Adeul..." His mom's voice sounded distant on the phone.
"When are you coming home?" She asked. You can see the evident mixture of worry and exhaustion in her voice.
Has mom's voice always been like that? He hadn't seen or heard from his mom for half a year now after he fainted for no reason in a comic bookstore at their hometown. It was weird that she called after pushing him to go back to the capital so quick right after that incident.
"Umma you're starting to confuse me." He said, putting the guitar down and switching his earphones on.
"I made some sundubu-jjigae, didn't you say you miss it? I'll ask your dad to send you some." Her old voice trailed off like she wanted to say something else.
"I'm fine mom." Was all he could say to ease her because he knew his mom doesn't like to be confronted. She was a woman with secrets of her own. Changing every topic that she didn't want to discuss.
When he was a kid he would often think why people keep secrets. Is it worth it? He used to ask his dad about it whenever his mom goes silent or pretends not to hear it and talks about something else. He still couldn't understand his dad's reply.
"Kiddo, some secrets are more painful than you think that no words describe it. That's why your mom doesn't want to talk about it, she just wanted to smile it all away." He said as he patted Hyun's head. Both were sitting at the balcony watching the sun slowly disappear, feeling the cold wild take over, signalling for the night.